Hello. My name is Candice.
(
Hi Candice.)
And I'm resorting to letting my baby cry it out so we can all get some sleep at night.
(
GASP!)
I know. I know. I never
really thought it would come to this... I always had it in the back of my mind as a back-up plan I never planned on using. But after nearly 8 months of pretty sleepless nights I came to the end of my rope. I really thought my rope was longer than that.
Yes, we tried co-sleeping. Yes, we tried bunking in the same room with different bed. Yes, we tried to meet every single need he has ever had, even during the night. But then I started to crack a little. The great big mommy give-a-thon was wearing me thin. So daddy started taking a more active role at night. Don't get me wrong, he has always helped at night, but he started taking the lead on it some nights... Which only resulted in NO ONE getting sufficient sleep.
I've been praying for more sleep for all of us for months now.
Months. But this last month it has been getting progressively worse:
It started with wakings at night every few hours. What could be worse than that, right? We can only improve from here,
right??Then wakings every 2 hours... What could be worse than that? We can only improve from here,
right????? Improvement must be only a night or two away!!
Oh, but they weren't.
Then wakings every hour at night... I didn't dare ask what could be worse. I didn't want to find out.
We grinned and beared it, thinking it was completely our own faults because we've dragged him across the country and kept moving in between houses. Surely he'll sleep when we get home, right? But then we remembered he didn't really sleep there either. Sure he slept through the night from 2 months to 4 months, but then that came to an abrupt end. FOUR MONTHS AGO. FOUR. We haven't been on the road for 4 months.
Then a few days ago I got to the end of my rope. I really, really thought the rope was longer. But, apparently not. After a really loooong night in which Tom was up the entire time and I didn't get any shut-eye either because of the drama, we came to the conclusion
it was time.Time for the back-up plan.
Time for the back-up plan I never wanted to use.
We did some reading on it. Tom went out and bought a video monitor. I gathered a bunch of pointers and tricks from experienced moms online. We had access to a large house with no one else around for the training period.
And we went for it. I cried. A lot.
Tom gave me a set of earplugs and told me to sleep upstairs. He's been sleeping downstairs with the baby in the next room and the monitor by his head.
The first night wasn't too bad. Last night was a bit rougher, but still within the range of humane. I covet your prayers for tonight. Oh, and also your encouragement that this works and confirmation that Tom and I aren't monsters.