THE BUG

Tiffany's horrific spider story reminds me of a little *friend* that visited my apartment a few years back.


It was late in the evening, and as I packed my lunch for the following day, I saw silly innocent Sam (the cat that Sonya was to accompany, remember?) intriguingly looking under my apartment freezer. So what is the most logical and safe thing to do? Yup, get down on my knees, bend over, and stick my head down there too. This CREATURE comes LAUNCHING out towards us, and I scream and jump on the counter. Sam, my guard kitty, tries to get away from the monster so fast that his legs frantically run but he doesn't go anywhere due to lack of grip on the kitchen floor.

So much for the guard cat.

SO, what's a single girl to do in her apartment all alone, late at night, with a scardy-cat and a massive critter slowly tap-dancing its way across her kitchen floor and proceeds to go behind the refrigerator?




Make a long-distance call to her mother of course.




After waking mama Baker from her slumber and telling her the horrific situation, her wise, calm mother shouts, still half dreaming,"For Pete's sake Candice, get your boots on and smash it with a shoe!"

Great idea!!

Now, have you ever heard or read in the news about a stabbing that took place and the victim was stabbed like, 33 times or something crazy like that? Well, I knew it was me or him, so when I wound up and started, there was just no stopping me.. SMASH SMASH SMASH SMASH SMASH....!!!

Then, as the creature lay lifeless on the floor and I pant and continue to shake in my boots (still holding the murder weapon), Sam proceeds to walk over and bat the creature around to show it who's boss.

Umm, a little too late there Sammy!